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Re: For Zach and Derek
In Response To: For Zach and Derek ()

Funny Post. I just now saw it. Of course you know that MIT is the "Georgia Tech of the North". I graduated in 1982. I like coming back to the south to visit. My mom and dad are still in or around Hotlanta.

: I am too old to have attended Fernbank
: Elementary with you guys - I was born in
: Piedmont Hospital when it was located near
: where "the Ted" is now. But I do
: have two degrees from "the Harvard of
: the South" just around the corner from
: Fernbank.

: I hope you enjoy the following that my
: sister-in-law (a former Atlantan living in
: Maryland) sent me: ATLANTA

: This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who
: has ever lived in Atlanta, has visited
: Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows
: anyone who lives in Atlanta, knows anyone
: who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who
: has ever heard of Atlanta, Georgia.

: Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets.
: The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta
: is to turn around and start over when you
: reach Greenville, South Carolina. All
: directions start with, "Go down
: Peachtree" and include the phrase,
: "When you see the Waffle House."
: Except that in Cobb County, all directions
: begin with, "Go to the Big
: Chicken." Peachtree Street has no
: beginning and no end, and is not to be
: confused with Peachtree Circle, Peachtree
: Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road,
: Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree
: Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree Commons,
: Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New
: Peachtree, Old Peachtree, West Peachtree,
: Peachtree-Dunwoody, Peachtree-Chamblee, or
: Peachtree Industrial Boulevard.

: Atlantans only know their way to work and their
: way home. If you ask anyone for directions
: they will always send you down Peachtree.

: Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we
: drink here, so don't ask for any other soft
: drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And
: even then, it's still "Coke."

: Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson
: International Airport is 32 miles away from
: the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and
: pack a lunch.

: It's impossible to go around a block and wind
: up on the street you started on. The Chamber
: of Commerce calls it a "scenic
: drive" and has posted signs to that
: effect, so that out-of-towners don't feel
: lost, they're just on a "scenic
: drive."

: The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM.
: The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30
: PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
: afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM
: Saturday.

: "Sir" and "Ma'am" are used
: by the person speaking to you if there's a
: remote possibility that you're at least 30
: minutes older than they are.

: A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon
: Avenue, so do not attempt the Spanish
: pronunciation. People will simply tilt their
: heads to the right and stare at you. The
: Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh
: LEE-on".

: The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers
: to immediately forget all traffic rules; so
: will daylight savings time, a girl applying
: eye shadow in the car in the adjacent lane,
: or a flat tire three lanes over.

: If a single snowflake falls, the city is
: paralyzed for three days, and it's on all
: the channels as a news flash every 15
: minutes for a month. All the grocery stores
: will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled
: water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a
: remote chance of snow, and if it does snow,
: people will be on the corner selling "I
: survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not
: to mention the fact that all schools will
: close at the slightest possible chance of
: snow.

: If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus
: stops, you're expected to get on and go
: somewhere.

: Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of
: life and a permanent form of entertainment,
: especially when a water line is tapped and
: Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.
: Construction crews are not doing their jobs
: properly unless they close down all major
: streets during rush hour.

: Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack,
: known as road Atlanta. It winds throughout
: the city on the Interstates, hence it's
: name. Actually, I-285, the loop that
: encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed
: limit of 55mph (but you have to maintain 80
: mph just to keep from getting run over), is
: known to truckers as "The Watermelon
: 500."

: Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn.
: You will rarely see a semi-truck on GA 400,
: because even the truck drivers are
: intimidated by the oversized SUV-wielding
: housewives racing home after a grueling day
: at the salon or the tennis match to meet
: their children at the school bus coming home
: from the college prep preschool.

: The last thing you want to do is be
: discourteous another driver, unless your car
: is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and
: your AK-47 has a full clip.

: The pollen count is off the national scale for
: unhealthy, which starts at 120! Atlanta is
: usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All
: roads, vehicles, houses, etc. are yellow
: from March 28th to July 15th. If you have
: any allergies you will die. But other than
: that, it's a great place to live!

: Possums sleep in the middle of the road with
: their feet in the air. There are 5,000 types
: of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia. There
: are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live
: in Georgia, plus a couple no one's seen
: before. Squirrels will eat anything. Unknown
: critters love to dig holes under tomato
: plants. Raccoons will test your crop of
: melons and let you know when they are ripe.
: If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls; it
: bites.

: A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They
: do get stuck.

: "Onced" and "Twiced" are
: words.

: It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

: Fire ants consider your flesh a picnic.

: People actually grow, eat and like okra!

: "Fixinto" is one word - "I'm
: fixinto go to da sto."

: There ain't no such thing as "lunch."
: There's only dinner and then there's supper.

: Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you
: start drinking it when you're age 2.

: "Backards" and "forwards"
: means I know everything about you.

: 'Jeet?' is actually a phrase meaning "Did
: you eat?"

: You don't have to wear a watch because it
: doesn't matter what time it is. You work
: until you're done or it's too dark to see.
: (Unless, of course, you are a certifiable
: WIS.)

: You know you're from Georgia if: You measure
: distance in minutes.

: You know what a 'dawg' is.

: You see a car with its engine running in the
: parking lot at the store with no one in it,
: no matter what time of the year.

: All the festivals across the state are named
: after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or
: animal.

: You install security lights on your house and
: garage and leave both unlocked.

: You carry jumper cables in your car... for your
: OWN car.

: You know what "cow tipping" and
: "snipe hunting" are.

: You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas
: Pete and catsup.

: The local papers cover national and
: international news on one page but require 6
: pages for local gossip and sports.

: You think that the first day of deer season is
: a national holiday.

: You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little
: warm."

: You know all four seasons: Almost summer,
: summer, still summer, and Christmas.

: You know whether another Georgian is from
: north, south or middle Georgia as soon as
: they open their mouth.

: Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known
: as "goin wal-martin" or off to
: "Wally World"

: You describe the first cool snap (below 70
: degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.

: A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or
: pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or
: flavor, Example: "What kinda coke you
: want?"

: Fried Catfish is "the other white
: meat."

:
: =========================================================

: But she failed to make any mention of the
: Varsity. "What'll ya have?"

: John

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